


nothing about this is lonely

by nevereverever



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Fever, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Healing Magic, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Love, Mild Language, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Sleepy Cuddles, Spoilers through Episode 99, like a lot, non-graphic injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevereverever/pseuds/nevereverever
Summary: Sometimes lonely people need other lonely people to keep them warm at night. Then maybe one day, after jokes, and pitfalls, and great and terrible days, they won't be quite so lonely anymore.or5 times Nott slept on Caleb's chest and 1 time she couldn't.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (mentioned) - Relationship, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 14
Kudos: 295





	nothing about this is lonely

**Author's Note:**

> This fic goes out to the lovely people of the Campaign 2 rewatch discord. You guys are the best, I hope you like this. As always, if there's something in the tag that sounds not fun to you, do not venture further. 
> 
> Love you, Critters!
> 
> (sidenote: I tried to replicate their relationship as best I could and I do not interpret their relationship as romantic so I tagged it as such. If you do though, more power to ya, live your dreams)

i.  
“Caleb?” Nott drew out the ‘A’ sound in a way he was only now getting used to. Her voice lilted over words like chimes on a windy day. It wasn’t his name and she didn’t sound like home and there was something so comforting about it.

“Ja?” He responded, bringing a hand up to rub roughly at his eyes. The night sky was low with clouds and it was too dark for him to see beyond a few feet.

“It’s too fucking cold out here.” She rolled over onto her side and he could feel her breath on his skin. He hummed. They had come up short on coin after their last con and there was no one in the village willing to let a vagrant and a goblin in for how much they had. So, the side of the road it was.

The air had gone icy and punishing after the sun went down, and with only a thin blanket for Nott and Caleb’s coat, they were feeling the cold.

“Well, we can go into town in the morning and steal something we can sell,” he said with a sigh. She pressed her forehead into his arm. 

“I’m going to die of the cold before the morning. Will you steal something shiny in my memory?” He laughed and his breath turned to fog and curled away from them into the night air.

“Alright,” he said, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her on top of him. She yelped in surprise but settled after just a moment, relaxing with her head on his sternum. She could hear his heartbeat. Her shivers calmed after a moment.

“This is warmer,” she said, shuffling the blanket so it covered them both. And it was a little warmer. It was also comforting, to know the other was there just by feeling. That nothing about this felt lonely. Nott let her eyes drift shut.

ii.  
It was raining hard and the little shed they managed to find to shelter in was tiny. Especially for 7 people who are all getting on towards exhaustion. Even with Yasha sitting up for watch, there wasn’t room enough for everyone to spread out.

After a lot of maneuvering and “Get your foot out of my face” and “Your elbow is in my kidney, Fjord" they managed to settle in. Caleb ended up pressed against one wall with Nott at his shoulder and Beauregard already asleep, her face pressed into his hip, one leg thrown over his. She deserved the rest after the day she had. There was a bruise blooming over her temple. He brushed his fingertips over her hair, a growing fondness warming his chest.

"I wish there was more room," Jester whispered. She was perpendicular to them, her head next to Nott's, and her feet pressed against the other wall. "My leg," she finished with a whine. 

Caleb propped himself up to get a look. Her legs were cramped, but more importantly, her right ankle was scarily swollen, bruised almost black against her blue skin. He frowned.

"Jester. You have to tell us when you're injured." Fjord sat up, jostling Molly who blinked up at him with bleary eyes. Molly whispered something that sounded like a curse

"Well, we don't have any potions, and I have no healing left, so you couldn't do anything till morning anyway," she grumbled. Fjord had no answer for that, just looked between the grimace of her face and his own hands. She tried to straighten her leg again with a soft whimper. 

"We could do this, at least," Caleb replied, scooping up Nott and pulling her onto his chest. She was half asleep, only waking up enough to grumble and nestle into Caleb. The space that she left was just enough room for Jester to stretch out her injured leg.

“Thank you, Nott,” Jester sing-songed, laying back down to rest. 

“I’m really something,” Nott mumbled, already falling back asleep. Molly said something in Infernal and Jester laughed, too loud from the small space. 

iii.  
Beau found Jester with her back pressed against the wall of Caleb’s room, just a few feet from the bed, a bowl of soup cradled in her hands. There were tears gathering in her eyes.

“Jessie? You okay? I think you might need a rest.” Jester sniffed, put the bowl onto the small bedside table and wiped her eyes.

“He needs to eat something, but I can’t wake them up.” Beau turned to look at the bed fully. Caleb was as he had been for the past few days, pale and clammy, his face drawn with pain. Only now, his arms were wrapped tightly around Nott, who was resting on his chest. They were both sound asleep. “I just mean- both of them didn’t sleep last night. And they look peaceful.”

"Oh. I thought you meant, like, he wouldn't wake up like he was in a coma." Jester gave her a watery smile and wiped her nose with her sleeve.

"I'm not that shitty of a healer, Beau. Not that my stupid spells do anything." In the middle of her sentence, Caleb let out a strangled cry. Nott startled awake, her arms tightening around her sleeping boy. 

“Shh, you’re alright,” she hushed. Caleb’s eyes were still pressed shut, still caught in a dream. His grip on her looked painful, but she didn’t seem to notice. He whimpered, a horrible sound. “It’s alright, love.” 

Jester gabbed a rag that had fallen to the side and mumbled a spell under her breath before placing it on his forehead. He flinched sharply away from her and it fell again. Nott grabbed it and shooed away Jester's hand.

“Just Jess, she’s here to help,” Nott adjusted the cloth again, “You’re okay, you’re safe. I'll keep you safe.” She reached up and smoothed the hair off of his forehead. He stilled, his breath evened, and Nott kept whispering words of reassurance. Beau grabbed Jester by the arm and tugged her towards the door. He was in good hands.

iv.  
"Hard day," is what Caduceus said to the innkeeper when they had walked through the door, all 7 of them covered head to toe in blood.

"Most of it isn't ours," Yasha said, trying her best to be comforting while 6 feet tall and covered in monster viscera. And she was right. It had been a long, gory day, but nobody almost died so they were counting it as a win. Nott was asleep in Cad’s arms, but she didn’t look particularly dead, her chest rising and falling. Caleb’s hands twitched at his sides.

“We’ve only got one room for the night. Won’t be enough space for all of you’s,” The innkeeper said, her eyes wide. The Mighty Nein shared a look.

“Just that room then, and basins and water to clean up with, please,” Caleb spoke up, placing more than enough gold to cover it on the counter. She pushed the key across the desk and pointed to a stairwell, her hand shaking.

“Mr. Caleb, will you take Nott? Beauregard appears to still have an arrow in her side,” Caduceus said. Caleb nodded and gently took Nott from his arms. 

“I’m fine, stop worrying about it,” Beau yelled, prodding at the arrow still embedded in her hip. They made their way to the room and cleaned up as much as they could, Jester and Cad flitting around and administering little bursts of healing with the energy they had left. 

Caleb dabbed a wet cloth at the blood on Nott’s face, trying his best not to wake her. She blinked her eyes open anyway, flinched and skittered away from him. He was still, his hand hovering in the air. It stung, a little, to see that fear in her eyes if only for a moment.

“Hallo,” he said, “you are still pretty bloody.” He handed her the rag and she roughly wiped herself down with it. They stared at each other for a moment, her eyelids fluttering as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Slowly, he opened his arms, sore as they were, and she all but dove into them. He let out a soft oof and fell back into the bed, and she laughed.

“You did your little silver thread thing already?” He hummed assent. “Well, then I’m sleeping here.” She grabbed a handful of his coat and let her eyes fall shut. Caleb could feel some of the others staring at them, but he tried to ignore it. He placed a little peck on the crown of her head.

“Ja. Ja, okay.”

v.  
“Caleb. Caleb, I don’t know if you can hear me.” He didn’t know where he was or why he was there. He knew there were people around him but their names and faces slipped through his fingers like smoke. He felt something sharp against his cheek.

“We really have to go. Can you follow me?” He tried to nod but he couldn't feel but it felt wrong. It was too loud in his head to think. It was screaming. Something grabbed his hand and when it pulled, he went with it. Better to follow.

“Come on, come one, come on.” He felt himself go faster and faster, the world narrowing and narrowing until suddenly the world was big and bright.

“Deucy, he won’t answer me,” the high-strung voice said and said and then his body felt full of foreign magic that chafed and warmed in equal measure. He squirmed out of Trent’s grasp. At least, he thought it was. Who else?

"I have a 7th level left, I can get us back to Rosohna," someone said, their voice sharp and biting like ice until the ice melted and the voice said, "is he going to be alright, Nott?" 

Someone squeezed his hand and he felt it so he squeezed back. It was so hard to feel from so far away.

“He’ll be fine, just get us out of here,” the voice hissed. “Caleb, we’ve got to go, just hold tight to me, okay?” There was a loud sound and a big feeling and it was awful and he knew it so well. It felt like choking on smoke and casting with no energy and hot and cold and scared. Then the world was painful and quiet and dark, but someone was holding his hand. Then he wasn’t there anymore.

He came to in his bed in the Xhorhaus, a firm and familiar weight on his chest. He saw Nott there, staring up at him with those big yellow eyes of hers.

"You scared me," she said, her voice heartbreakingly genuine. He looked away, but there wasn’t far to go when she was that close.

"I did not mean to. And I am very sorry.” She put a hand on his cheek, turned his face so they were eye to eye again.

“Not your fault,” she said. He bit back denials, angry and fearful words that he didn’t really mean. She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to his heartbeat, strong and steady. “When we wake up, you might need to talk to your floaty hot boi. Now, he was really worried.” He laughed, and it felt so light in his chest. So much light in his world.

“You stop that. It is not- We are- He is my friend."

I.  
Veth Brenatto had more than a few bad habits. But, laying in her hammock on the Ball-Eater, alone and so fucking tired, she was pretty sure that wanting to sleep curled up on Caleb’s chest was the worst.

She was larger after the transformation, for one. And she was married with a beautiful son. She was a grown halfling that could handle herself, but that didn’t stop her from missing the reassuring rise and fall of his chest. Of knowing he was there, safe. It felt like a childish thing to want.

Veth Brenatto was swinging in her hammock and she was so lonely.

She knew that if she wanted, she could go curl up with any one of her friends. They wouldn't judge her for it, especially after the week they'd had. Even Fjord probably wouldn’t have minded. 

But she wanted Caleb. She trusted these people, she loved these people, but he was her boy, a piece of her soul like Yeza or Luc.

It took a few hours of swinging and fidgeting before she resigned herself to not sleeping. She just wanted to see him, check on him. They had nearly died the night before. Fjord had died and as much as she teased him it had hurt. She wanted to see her boy, for just a second.

She opened the door to Caleb’s room, ducking underneath the Alarm thread and snuck up to where he was sleeping, avoiding the creakiest floorboards. She sat down at the foot of the bed and watched his chest rise and fall. He stirred after a moment and she froze, perfectly still.

“Why are you so far away,” Caleb asked muzzily, his eyes just barely opening. 

“I didn’t want to wake you,” she lied. She reached for a flask that no longer sat on her hip. “I didn’t wake you, actually. I’m just a part of your dream. You dreamed me this whole time.” She made some wavy motions with her hands that almost looked like somatic components. He nudged her knee with his foot.

“You’re real,” he said, sitting up so they were eye to eye.

“You’ll never know for sure,” she replied. When she went to cast Invisibility and scramble away, hope he forgets about it by morning, but he caught her wrist before she finished.

“You’re real,” he said with more force. 

“Yes,” she sighed, “I guess I’m real.” A smile flickered across his face for an instant like he was pleased with himself. 

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to wake you. I guess I was just a little worried.” She looked away from him, embarrassed more than anything. He tugged lightly on her arm and she begrudgingly looked back.

“I don’t mind. I don’t-” he yawned, “I don’t tell you enough how much I need you. How glad I am that we have made this journey together.” Veth made a small, quiet noise from the back of her throat. He squeezed her wrist.

“I love you,” she blurted. She pressed a hand to his heart, then brushed the backs of her fingers over his temple. “I think I say that plenty, but I want you to believe it.” He let go of her wrist and stared at her, his face screwing up like it did when he was about to cry.

“I-” he took a long, painful breath, “I love you too. You are too far away.” He opened his arms and she crawled into them and it felt like home. It felt like a sunset in Felderwin, and the smell of Yeza’s tea, and grass beneath her feet. She took a stuttering breath in like she was finally above water.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3 Leave me a note if you did, I treasure them


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